Leaving it here in case I forget
-a lb of apples, picked from the tops of trees as Icarus flew down from the sun
-cheese, made from not cheese
-grain from large plastic bins, much like goat feed at a petting zoo
-a granola bar that has been to college
-the kind of tortilla chip you can count on
-sugar substitute extracted from old DVD’s, 1000% natural
-a thousand dollars worth of fruit
-a popsicle that is so far removed from what we know popsicles to be you might as well eat frozen cauliflower from a bag
-BBQ c’h’c’k’n substitute
-bread that got married to a small wHeat (said like wHEat, really say the h) field and goes back to visit it a few times
-butter made from either oil or a rich cow
-if you say coconut oil 3 times in the mirror, you will have somebody from your past pop in and tell you how to rub it on your legs as a shaving cream
-sentient kale that screams when you massage it with olive il
-JURASSIC PARK 6: DINO KALE
-something Gwyneth Paltrow has kissed
-water with more knowledge
-potato chip: what do you want
me: Just fuck me up
potato chip: cool, I’ll bake myself in a steel kettle with zero salt and add a bunch of weirdo grains
My Whole Foods Grocery List
Published
Mooncustafer 