You middle aged dudes seem to need it spelled out: She Doesn’t Want To Talk To You

rosalindrobertson:

I see this all the time. Some guy my age trying to chat up a very young woman on public transit – taking advantage of her not wanting to be seen as rude to take up her time, her space. 

Today it was super bad. I got on in between some short 40-something and a girl who was maybe 18 because she was trying to gracefully say “I don’t know you” and put her earbuds in. 

“Oh, but I’ve seen you around”. 

CREEPY. 

So I got In Between. 

She’s putting in her earbuds, she’s moved near the door, she’s not engaging him any further, it’s clear she wants no part of him. Every cell of her body is GO AWAY. 

So of course dude WALKS AROUND ME to continue to talk to her. Makes her pull out her earbuds. 

And he gets from her all sorts of information. What she’s taking, where her classes are… WHEN her classes are… by adopting this gross familiarity and pressing on. 

This is when I move closer, take MY earbuds out, and stare at him. 

When he tries to show off by saying he turned down a basketball scholarship at the university of Toronto – he’s five-five and I’m five-nine… I snort laugh. And roll my eyes. 

Now he’s angry. 

She gets off at the first available stop. He looks like he’s going to follow her and then, seeing me, because I WILL GET OFF AND FOLLOW YOU, TOO, GUY… thinks better of it. 

Because I’ve been this young woman more times than I can count. Even at my advanced age, dude doesn’t always take the hint on my subway into work. I still get followed off trains. Fortunately my workplace has a police officer around the corner from the subway exit. That usually stops them.  

I pray for invisibility. I’m almost there. This guy today wants nothing to do with me. 

But she’s not invisible, she needs an out. 

So. Because you guys my age need it spelled out, here are the signs you need to leave her the fuck alone: 

Crossed arms, earbuds in, not moving toward you, not encouraging any conversation, being polite but not asking anything about you at all, not picking up anything you are putting down, not responding at all, not smiling and avoiding eye contact. 

If she’s doing ONE of these things? Leave her alone. Entertaining your stunted self image is not her job or her duty. 

And to the young women out there? Find your closest middle aged woman, like me, and do not be afraid to get behind us. Because we’re not taking any of their shit any longer. And we’re not afraid if some douchecanoe pushing up on your dad’s age thinks we’re being rude. And we’re happy to walk the guy smack into a cop at the next exit.