unpretty:

Step one: imagine an immortal being. Not just immortal, but old. They have been on this earth for eons, walking among mortals and looking down on them. They have traveled the world, using the immortality to amass wealth and knowledge. They’ve seen every wonder of the world, including ones that modern man has forgotten. And they are not just old, but dignified. Insufferably dignified. This is no friendly wanderer: this is a pretentious fucking asshole.

Step two: imagine someone trying to explain to them the concept of string cheese.

“Do you remember that time the Romans tried adding garum to their porridge? It’s worse than that.”