I keep seeing a post going around about how disappointing it is that bi characters in media date a girl but then end up with a guy at the end of the show/movie/whatever and tbh it makes me v. uncomfortable?
I mean sure, it’d be great to have more f/f relationships in media, but a lot of real bi girls /do/ end up with guys and they deserve better than to be told relationships that reflect theirs are the “disappointing” option
And tbh I feel like it very much ties into the good bi/bad bi thing, where a bi person in a same gender relationship is Basically Gay and therefore Acceptable but a bi person in a different gender relationship is Basically Straight and not worthy of support
I feel like the whole dichotomy is a big lose-lose situation.
If the bi character ends up with a same-sex partner, then that is good because Need More Queer Representation In Literature. But as you said, many bi people end up with different sex partners, particularly bi women. So they don’t get representation of how to conduct their lives in mixed-orientation relationships. Bisexual relationships are rendered Basically Gay by other monosexual queers and bi people are praised only if they stay within those confines.
If the bi character ends up with the different-sex partner, then the story is blown off for Basically Being Straight and seen as unnecessary when we
Need More Queer Representation In Literature. Straight assholes are reassured that bi women are just doing bisexuality for funsies but will one day settle down into straight lives and relationships. Bi women are made to feel like their relationships and lives are Not Queer Enough.
Basically either way, bi women are set up to lose in a screwey monosexist and sexist framework. The entire debate is a set up to fail where bi people can’t win. So monosexual queers, please stop saying things like this.
– Sarah
This also ties into the fact that so rarely do you get characters actually saying “I’m bi” (or otherwise being canonically identified as bisexual). Without that canonical identification, it’s so much easier to erase bi characters who end up in same-gender relationships by assuming they are in fact either “just experimenting straights” or “actually a Real Queer” (ie gay/lesbian) that thought they were straight/had hetero experiences before coming out.
Oooh good point.
As with most other traits that need more representation, this could probably be solved by… more representation. If there’s more than two bi characters in the story, none of them has to be seen as the One True Depiction of everybody with that trait.
Mooncustafer 