It’s a tough question to answer, Anon, and kind of requires a lot of discussion, but I think the most important thing to remember is that you are not personally required to defend all things to all people at all times. Even if you are from a group that needs defending and are by necessity forced to defend yourself, you are allowed to defend only yourself on occasion, and you are allowed to withdraw and take breaks.
Traction takes time. And we will lose a lot of the small fights because they have all the power and money on their side. The trick is accepting a loss without accepting its inevitability – allowing yourself to say “okay, we lost that one, here’s how we can work to soften the blow, here’s how we can fight so we don’t lose the next one”. And to put faith in the people who are fighting, to hear their stories and draw inspiration from their fight, whether or not they won.
There’s a lot of debate in many circles over the definition of self-care, but this is one of them: when you feel burnout coming on, you have the right to withdraw, to look after yourself for a while, to take a break so that you can return refreshed. If a loss knocks you back, take the time to acknowledge the loss and the knock, let your bruises heal a little, and then jump back in so someone else can tap out. That’s why we organize in groups: so that someone is covering our six when we need it, and we can have someone else’s six when they do.
So your job is to do what you can, to know the signs you’re burning out however those manifest for you (fatigue, anxiety, issues with work/life balance, too many unwashed dishes in the sink, whatever and however it shows for you) and to know what will refresh you – taking a day to rest, buying yourself something small that you normally wouldn’t, spending time with friends, a vacation, whatever.
It is okay to turn off the news and to blacklist things that will upset you for a few days. It’s okay to say “I can’t talk about this” and walk away sometimes.
This is a marathon, not a sprint, which is a tired saying but true. Sprinters run fast and steady and don’t stop because they can’t, because the goal’s in sight. Marathoners can’t see the finish line, and can’t possibly run their fastest the whole way, because they’d drop from exhaustion before they reached it. So they pace themselves, they eat along the way, they walk it off if they get a cramp. Know when to walk it off for a while.
It’s normal to be anxious in the situation we’re in, but we have to learn to manage it somehow. Uneasy sleep makes for tired people who aren’t going to help as much as they could – so you have to find a way to take all the anger and fear and put it away so that you can rest. How you do that is a matter of trial and error; try things until something works. And if you have a few sleepless nights, well, that’s a sign you need to take some time.
Nobody will die because you, yourself, personally and alone, took a day off. We are all responsible for each other precisely so that nobody bears that burden alone. And the fight will be stronger tomorrow because you took a nap today. 🙂
I’ve also seen “this is a relay, not a sprint.”
Mooncustafer 