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mooseman13579:

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fira211
replied to your post “Today in Sam Plays the Ukulele”

… Hawaiian is my favourite pizza and Hallelujah is one of my favourite songs and I’m pretty sure this is never leaving my brain. Ever.

I heard there was a secret crust
That Domino’s gave all of us
But you don’t really care for garlic, do you?
It looks like these: crust, sauce, then cheese
Then ham and pineapple please
Delivery drivers bring the pizza to you

Pizza to you
Pizza to you
Pizza to you
Pizza toooooooo youuuuu

Hawaiian pizza is a crime against Italian-derived food.

Apparently Hawaiians also find it pretty appalling – there’s been a national but not well-noticed move to rebrand it “ham and pineapple” because Hawaiians object to the name. Which, fair enough, I’m willing to make that shift, especially since I will never ever order one so it’s not like I’m in the habit anyway. I do feel there’s a missed opportunity to call it the “meat fruit” pizza (like a Meet Cute) though.

The reason this only has one verse is I couldn’t figure out how to fit a short talk about how Hawaiians don’t like the name into the meter of the song and still retain the nuance of why, and I wanted that to be the second verse. 😀

(Fun fact I hate the garlic crust on Dominos pizza. I order deep dish only because they don’t put the terrible aluminum-tasting “garlic” butter on the crust. Yes, I have tried asking for no garlic on the crust, let me tell you how well that worked for me oh wait it didn’t at all.)

The only thing I have to say
is that the name must go away;
Hawaiians really don’t appreciate it.
Ham and pineapple is more descript,
and even if it though it tastes like shit,
delivery drivers bring the pizza to you.

Pizza to you, pizza to you.
Pizza to you, pizza toooooooooooo you.

*stamps* APPROVED. 

Now Godfather’s has their own tricks
And mountains of cheesy breadsticks
Until you order more than is good for you
Then the salt and grease combine inside
And there’s nowhere to run and hide
And you regret they brought the pizza to you

Pizza to you, Pizza to you,
Pizza to you, pizza tooooooo yooooouu

(Moar Hallepizza filk to share!)

You finally found the local spot
Where the pie is saucy, nice and hot
The topping’s are the type that really suit you.
You call them up and order one
They tell you when it should be done
But then they say they won’t deliver to you!

Pizza to you, pizza to you
Pizza to you, pizza tooooooo you.

THE FRUSTRATION IS REAL

@ribby sent me one too: 

If you want pizza while in your socks,
Then order it, they’re on the clocks.
But you don’t really care for promptness, do you?
‘Cause sometimes, well, they hit roadblocks,
Or even worse, they drop the box,
And it’s a cold and it’s a broken pizza to you,

Given that Cohen sent a fan site photo of himself on a midnight Cheeto run to the 7-11, I feel like he’d approve of this. http://cohencentric.com/2015/06/01/leonard-cohen-sighting-midnight-run-for-cheetos-at-the-local-711-may-23-2015/