ekjohnston:

drst:

wyomingsmustache:

steel-dragon:

lolrider:

faedex:

spitandvinegar:

New hobby idea: using phrases that sound like down-home folksy expressions you learned from your grandma but are actually just nonsense you just made up

– that man really salts my melon!

– you know what they say, it takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken

– a louse will live on any head it lands on

– don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows

– there’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big

– like digging a pond and hoping for ducks

This was supposed to be a joke and all but as a southerner, these still make sense.

its weird these don’t mean anything but you can still kind of intuit what they would mean if they were things people actually said.

@lexicalpsychopathy I literally can’t help but picture you saying all of these

That man really salts my melon: Salt is actually frequently added to melons around here, so someone who salted your melon would be doing you a favor, or make something more appealing. Even though the framing presents it as a negative thing, so maybe you’d use it for someone who annoys you by doing you a favor.

It takes a bushel of corn to feed one chicken: Even if something might seem like a small ask, over time it might add up. A single chicken might eat a small amount of corn in a single day, but over time you’ll find you’ve bought lots of corn. Therefore, something that seems miniscule may in fact be a large commitment.

A louse will live on any head in lands on: Everyone can suffer through bad times and ill luck, regardless of their lot in life. (ie, anyone can suffer from depression, even if they haven’t got it “bad enough”)

Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows: There are multiple possible meanings for this. My favorite is don’t take time fixing a problem you don’t even have, ie, if you don’t have cows, you don’t have the problem of your cows needing a salt lick.

There’s a guy who eats half the berries and says the pie shell’s too big: Don’t blame circumstances for a problem of your own creation.

Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks: Don’t just hope something will turn out after one step, actually follow through all of them. Your pond could attract ducks, sure, or you could just go get ducks to live in your pond.

Seriously, every single one of these nonsenses you just made up follow a certain internal logic and make perfect sense.

Don’t put down a salt lick and say you ain’t got cows” reads more to me as “Don’t take steps to correct an obvious problem and then deny the problem exists out loud.”

I feel like I need to add these to my personal lexicon.

I really, really like Like digging a pond and hoping for ducks.

Making up in-world expressions in Fantasy novels is one of my favourite things, (do they even HAVE ducks?), but doing it the real world is extra fun and I encourage it.

The initial suggestion of nonsense folksy expressions led me to expect something more like Will Ferrel’s improvised exclamations in the outtakes from Anchorman:
HOT POT of COFFEE!
SWEET GRANDMA’S CORNCOB PIPE!!

I also knew someone who used to shake his fist and yell F. MURRAY ABRAHAM!!

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