copperbadge:

Me: I’m writing a song on the ukulele for R’s wedding.
Mum: Did R commission you?
Me: Well, it’s not really for the wedding, I just joked that I should write him a song as a wedding gift and he demanded it.
Mum: I think that’s nice!
Me: It’s certainly a challenge. I’m trying to write a song about how happy I am for him in this new chapter of his life, but it’s difficult not to sound like I’m an ex who’s graciously letting him go.
Mum: You’ve been his friend longer than any woman he’s dated in his life. Oh! Maybe you should write a song about his terrible ex-girlfriends.
Me: Yeah, that’s a good plan for a wedding, I’ll write about the time I cockblocked him for his own good. 
Mum: And see, now you can let him go to someone worthy of him!
Me: We’ll save this for the B-side, maybe.