Today at work I was telling my co-worker about the time a friend of my brother asked a fast-food worker to put liquid soap on his burger to see if they would.

Co-worker: (thinks about this) Would you sneeze on a burger if someone asked to?

Me: Um, probably not. If they really wanted me to, maybe, but I’d probably ask them to put it in writing so I couldn’t get in trouble with management afterwards.

Her: Would you (something that sounded to me like “pee on someone”)

Me: What, like if they had a fetish?

Her: What

Me: What

I still don’t know what she actually asked me, because I would have had to admit I thought she asked me if I’d pee on someone. I told my spouse about this and he said this happened “because you’re weird and your workplace is normal.”