bogleech:

I just remembered that when I was a kid I put serious thought into an idea for an edgy villainy themed department store, like as a genuine career goal I devised to be completely within the realm of possibility and if I remember correctly my idea included:

• Satirical ads and signage just bragging about being a soulless corporation
• Scary uniforms with optional helmets for employees
• Only sinister music ever plays
• Large, obvious security cameras with visible laser sights
• Menacing but technically correct signage, like “corpse flesh” for meats
• A pet section with only snakes, spiders, scorpions and piranhas
• A moat outside with live alligators. Bass Pro fishing shops already actually do this so why not.
• Overwhelmingly large horror dvd selection, all other genres condensed into a smaller section presented kinda like the weenie hut from spongebob
• “Skeletons” as an entire department
• Carnivorous plant nursery in the garden section
• The store holds very frequent raffles and contests but the prize is always knives

My reasoning besides it being fun was that everyone was probably sick to death of businesses pretending to be wholesome and caring about you and people are also just bored in general so the spectacle itself might pay for the cost of its gimmicks and actually all the regular items would be as cheap as possible