infinitywahrs:

mcu characters as dumb shit my classmates have said

steve rogers: five year plan? you know who had a five year plan? stalin. look where he ended up.

tony stark: guys. emergency: my outfit isn’t dope enough today.

clint barton: [on a scooter] you’re driving? you fucking loser, i’m scooting!”

natasha romanoff: she’s complaning, meanwhile I was eating my 5th cricket.

bruce banner: where’s the fire extinguisher in this room? GOD do they not care about safety???

thor odinson: KYLE, BRO, ARE YOU SHITTING ME? I THOUGHT WE HAD A DATE? CMON, MAN.

loki odinson: here’s yet another situation in which being a chameleon would be useful.

sam wilson: I know you don’t like me, which is exactly why I asked the teacher to move my seat next to you.

scott lang: do you have any deodorant? or maybe some orange juice, either will work.

hope van dyne: anyone eating a mini candy cane looks like a pussy.

peter parker: hey, off topic question, are you more of a lewis or a clark kind of gal?

rhodey: we are not getting in a robotic argument. not today.

shuri udaku: I can’t see the math problem through my tears.

wanda maximoff: oh, I committed some sins early on, for sure.

valkyrie: if I were high, it wouldn’t be on weed. that’s weak.

t’challa udaku: that’s not how you eat pasta in these lands, you ignorant slut. 

stephen strange: shift your eyes to the wonders of my fingers.

bucky barnes: I have a lot of feet… but not enough hands… what do I do here?