While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.
Leaving bones in artisit but vaugely ominous-looking occult circles out in the woods to worry and confuse hikers is one of the grand joys of rural life. Cow bones always make a dramatic impression due to thier large size.
ppl who dont even like shakespeare: WOW how DARE you alter the original text these are CLASSICS have you no RESPECT, going around DESECRATING these sacred texts in the name of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!!!!!!!
people who love shakespeare: im going to stage a production of hamlet where all the actors are dogs
it’s what he would have wanted
Okay so the universal law of Shakespeare, as I’ve heard it, is that you can take things out, you can rearrange them, you just cannot add anything in that conflicts with the original texts. So while you cannot have a production of romeo and juliet where the houses get along and they get married, it’s perfectly acceptable to replace all the actors with dogs in hamlet because the characters are never outright stated to not be dogs.
“The characters are never outright stated not to be dogs”
“It was never a part of their journey” but better.
Things I have seen:
Hamlet set in a psychiatric institution where it was heavily implied the whole thing was his imagination
Romeo and Juliet where the Montagues were aliens
Steampunk Hungarian Romeo and Juliet musical with a fleet of rapping white boys
Russian King Lear which was the bleakest thing I have ever seen
Richard III set in the 1930s including fascist iconography
The Tempest in Space
Meiji Era Twelfth Night set in a Kabuki theatre in a fascinating meta examination of the role of women and men who play women (being performed entirely by a company of women)
Romeo & Juliet, Merchant of Venice, Measure for Measure and Hamlet each with a single very drunk performer.
I love seeing what different productions bring to the table, because it’s so much fun! It’s also fun to watch Shakespeare purists pitch a fit about it being wrong. Bitch, stfu. I know for a fact that when Shakespeare’s globe burned down, one of the drunken audience members put out his burning trousers with his pint. This was not high-brow sober art. This was for the people and they loved it.
fun fact, i played the prince in a high school production of The Tempest and looking back it so easily could have been set in space
once saw a production of Twelfth Night with an “urban” twist (it was high school 😒) but at one point an actor missed their cue so Malvolio stalled for time by doing the intro to Queer as Folk and beatboxing for like 30 seconds before running back offstage 😂
Forbidden Planet is *famously* “The Tempest, but in
spaaace (well, on another planet, mostly)” – i just assumed that’s what they were talking about.
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking
I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else
That’s, like, the moral to most fairy tales so yeah
Stopfkuchen (1891), Wilhelm Raabe. I’m really starting to wish I could find other people who’ve read this so I could continue with the jokey description.
“But wasn’t her father a murd—-”
Tubby: “SORRY CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THIS IDYLLIC FARM”
Valentina: (putting down cookbook) “Look, If you don’t stop pestering us, I WILL let my husband tell you about his fossil collection until you beg for mercy.”
a huge part of my stand against depression had to do with making my living space pleasant. cooking, cleaning, making sure I always had enough light, never worried that it smelled, for the past year p much all of my recreational expenses have been on cute lil home accessories that fit my aesthetic. lemme say, it makes a difference.
but sometimes i feel like i’m like, cosplaying someone who is functional.
i know that sounds pathetic and honestly it is. it feels like a joke whenever i get the vacuum out, ‘lol dylan you idiot, why are you pretending you’re the kind of person who vacuums’ but you know, i still do it every weekend and it still keeps my house nice. doing the dishes i tell myself not to get too excited because its not like i’ll keep this up, but i havent had a full sink in like a month. i can quietly laugh at myself in the checkout aisle for buying fruits and veggies so i can pretend im not a disaster who will eat a pack of ramen raw, but I dont even keep pack ramen in my house anymore. it felt like such a farce to start treating myself better that even as i live this way and have lived this way for some time it never quite feels like my own choice. it always feels like a front that im putting up for no one.
it made me realise i was almost embarrassed to pull my shit together because i saw myself as a slob for such a long time. i’d kinda just accepted i was a disaster human and that i’ll always be surrounded by filth and any attempt to not be surrounded by filth was such a lost cause it was humiliating. i might have even romanticised my dysfunction internally, relating to characters in books and movies who were notoriously messy as a contrast to their genius.
but uh, its actually very very easy to keep my fruit in a bowl on my kitchen table. it takes literally no effort to open my curtains and let in some natural light. its kinda hard to do laundry or dismantle the stacks of dirty dishes, but playing music in the background helps. and as a reward, i get to keep pretending im a functional person and get to live in that functional person’s nice clean apartment. pretty low price, in my opinion.
Mooncustafer 