pro tip: before getting serious w a man, just casually mention ur period. like, just say ‘my cramps are bad rn’ or ‘I have to go buy some pads’. his reaction is very telling of how mature and understanding he is. you don’t wanna be dating a grown ass man who gets grossed out by the word menstruation. u deserve someone who is comfortable w u and I do mean all of u. you’ll be thanking urself for doing it now and not later hun!
THIS IS REALLY INDICATIVE OF HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS. TRUST ME.
True story. Once, I dated a guy once that wouldn’t let me pay for my own pads him he has with me. He wouldn’t go out and buy them himself if I needed them though. I had to stand next to him, which defeated the whole reason for him going to buy me any. Was uncomfortable with period talk and letting me pay for things myself.
Once, I also dated a guy that wouldn’t even stand in the pads alley with him. It grossed him out. Everything about my period grossed him out and he didn’t want to touch me. Just left me alone and didn’t want to deal with any of it. Wouldn’t even stand next to me when I bought pads.
Now, the guy I’m with and going to marry, he is a whole different story. I was dying of cramps and got my period while finishing up a class. (My campus can get very bad to the point where I’m shaking in pain or unable to move) Mistakenly didn’t bring pads and texted I needed him to do me the biggest favor. Not only did he buy me pads (something he does from time to time when I need them) but he marched through campus with them not bothering to hide it and brought me Advil.
Last week, I was dying in pain and lost my hot pack when I went to visit my mother. I asked him to buy me a new one and he forgot. So, I’m in massive pain near tears and it’s past ten at night wishing I hadn’t been so stupid as to lose it. He gets dressed and goes out to get me a hot pack even when I tell him over and over that I can wait until morning and I don’t want him to go not because he needs to go to bed.
He flat out says “I love you. You asked me to get you a hot pack and I forgot. Now, you are in a lot of pain and I can’t stand to see that. So, I’m getting you the hot pack and I’ll be back soon.” Comes back with the hot pack, ice cream and a candy bar.
Not saying all men need to be this level of nice. But I am saying that bring up your period in a casual manner is a great way to see how people will treat you when you are sick, not feeling well, or just basically how they handled things.
ACTUALLY THEY DO NEED TO BE THAT LEVEL OF NICE THOUGH
You are absolutely correct, and I was a fool not to realize it sooner.
My grampa was like this. I still remember sitting in the bathroom throwing up, because hella period nausea, and him holding my hair out of my face and like … not exactly rubbing my back. Sort of patting it. Like he was trying to be comforting but wasn’t quite sure how, because a 17-year-old girl throwing up and crying and telling him this was normal was outside his wheelhouse, which, given that he was in his 70s at the time and married my grandma when she was already in menopause, is understandable. Anyway, he went and called his niece for advice. She told him to give me plain herbal tea for pain (since Advil wasn’t staying down) and put me to bed, and he did and asked if I needed anything from the store, and went out and bought me pads and extra herbal tea, and called my school and told them I was sick and he was keeping me home.
If a man born in 1929 can pull it off, boys, so can you.
I endlessly admire fic authors who have betas and write chapters and chapters ahead of what they post because you best believe my needy ass is slapping just-finished, mildly edited and typo-laden fics onto AO3 the moment they’re done so I can get that sweet sweet validation
It’s World Mental Health Day! (October 10th.) So I thought it might be useful to compile mental health resources for the Jewish community into one post. If you know of any that aren’t listed, please feel free to add them.
RELIEF – connects/refers Jewish people to therapists and other
mental health resources (focuses mainly on the frum community)
Elijah’s Journey – suicide prevention for the Jewish community (Facebook page)
The Aleph Institute – provides spiritual support for Jews in
institutional environments such as prison, health facilities, and
rehab
No Shame On U – aims to de-stigmatize mental illness by providing
comprehensive education
OHEL – comprehensive services for those facing mental health issues, with professionals fluent in English, Yiddish, and Hebrew
Yad Rachel – for mothers facing postpartum depression, also helps educate family and health providers
Many cities also have Jewish Family Services, which will often be able to refer you to a therapist or other local resources.
Reblogging to add Eshel and JQY for Orthodox LGBT.
And to remind people who are unaffiliated but are feeling shaken by today’s events that there are undoubtedly going to be memorial services or events held at synagogues throughout the nation, and those spaces are open to you–those synagogues are open to you regardless. If you need to just be in a Jewish space for a little bit, trust me, I know a Reform or Conservative synagogue will have your back.
If you are near a Chabad–which you can find out here, and they are in more places than you would imagine–believe me when I say if you call and ask if you can come to Shabbat dinner this week, they will be thrilled to have you, no questions asked, and no strings attached.
If you are in your 20s or 30s, you can also seek out a Moishe Kavod House. MKH trends toward Orthodox, but focuses on social action, and is a good place to meet kindred souls who want to help out in the world.
There’s also “secular” Jewish spaces, such as Federation Mixers, JCCs, college-campus Hillel social events, etc.
Please, if you’re feeling isolated and scared or just simply sad, use any of the resources above, or secular mental health resources. Just take care of yourself.
One of these days, I’m going to flip (cisswap) a bunch of Poe stories and see whether I can still make them seem creepy instead of ridiculous: “So there’s this guy I like, well okay, he’s my cousin…and I mean he’s kinda sickly, but he’s got these grrrrrreat teeth…kinda makes me wanna…DIG HIM UP IF HE DIES AND PRY THEM ALL OUT WITH A PAIR OF PLIERS. (Pause) Oh God, ssssssssoooooooooooo hotttttttttt.”
Mooncustafer 