One of these days I’m going to write a YA novel and call it “Most Girls”.
It could be about a vampire who was turned in her late teens and always regretted never finishing her education formally and well, she’s too young looking for college but she could get a high school diploma, right? Something to hang up in the old tomb sweet tomb. So she talks her older looking vampire friends into pretending to be her parents and whacky hijinks ensue as she struggles to fit in and be like most girls but hilariously keeps getting told she’s not like most girls by everyone she meets, much to her annoyance.
“You know,“ he says inching closer beside me on the rooftop, the light of the moon casting an unearthly silver glow on the leaves and making his eyes shine all the brighter, “you’re not like most girls.”
I dip my head to hide my smile. They always scream so much when they see the fangs.
“No,” I agree inching away from him again, “I’m not.”
But maybe just for once, I think, I’d like to be…
Joy I’m fucking suing you for typing at verbatim every Neopets Vampire roleplay I took part in in 2003 and making me stare into my own soul
This is unrealistic because if a literal child walked into my university lecture I’d be like sure you probably belong here and would never question it. She could totally make it in college
Book two can be her realizing that to professors everyone looks like they’re 12 so enrolls in community college with her shiny new diploma.
Faux-vampire-mom-and-dad show up at graduation looking like if you crossed 50s nostalgia with the Addams family and cheering loudly for everyone, but especially for those who have no one else to cheer for them.
For them they cheer the loudest.
Because sometimes a family can be you, your fake spouse, your immortal undead daughter and the humans they adopt along the way.
Can Faux-vampire-mom-and-dad be younger than their immortal undead daughter?
Absolutely. There’s a hundred years difference at least. Clara and Arthur just happen to look like they’re in their late 30s.
When and where can I support this?
If you’re really asking, I have a Patreon and Ko-fi where people can support my blog or pre-order my upcoming work of pledge for perks. It helps me to keep the lights on and pay for my medical expenses of which there are many and often not covered by my insurance. It also means I don’t have to take on extra editing work to stay above water, and can focus on creating stories for you guys.
Phangs is the only current book you can pre-order on there (a polyamorous queer satirical romance novel featuring, vampires, werewolves and all manor of creatures that go bump in the night: you can read about it here: https://thebibliosphere.tumblr.com/post/165355331201/hi-im-very-curious-as-to-what-hunger-pains )
I will eventually have my own author webpage and store where you can find everything I do and buy directly from me, but in the meantime this is my main means of supporting myself and it’s always greatly appreciated. Never expected, but appreciated ❤
Amazon will also be a thing eventually but only as my distributor. If they think for one second I’m giving them printing rights they can whistle for it.
“vampires, werewolves, and all manor of creatures”
Is that a pun?
It was, thank you for noticing and not assuming it was a typo :p
With regards to the “no, she wouldn’t look to young for college” comment, most first-year undergrads are in their “late teens” anyway; and there was a girl in my residence who we all initially thought was eleven or twelve (turned out she was just short), but she was in a music program so everyone just shrugged and went “maybe she’s a prodigy?”
Mooncustafer 