You know what’s infinitely more common in real life than “violent homophobe is secretly gay”?
The Super Cool Ally™ being actually super homophobic/transphobic.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen allies do/say something “supportive” that was actually really offensive, and then either ignore or shout down any LGBT+ person who tries to tell them not to do that thing and why it’s offensive.
It’s incredibly unlikely for someone virulently homophobic to be
secretly gay – and in the very rare circumstances when it does happen,
it’s a condemnation of straight society that liberation feels so
distant to them that becoming a collaborator against our own people seems like a
better option.But that latter thing in my experience is the case with at least half the “allies” I encounter, because their “allyship” is really just a performance for the benefit of themselves and other straight people. Interacting with real LGBT+ people and getting our input is unnecessary and inconvenient, because it’s not about us at all, we’re a prop.
And
yet straight people are way more likely to assume the former is true
than the latter. Because the former, although almost never true,
absolves them of any responsibility for ending LGBT+ oppression – we’re
doing it to ourselves! And the latter might actually requrire them to
think about whether their allyship is performative and hollow.